- I don't like my hair. It's too short and not enough I can do with it. Its been experimented on and messed up. Also, I don't have the natural Somali hair. Its like if you're Mexican, but you have African American hair. Somali hair is different than mines.
- I can't be agressive, for the fear that people might take advantage of me. If I don't like something, I leave it, I don't fight it. So sometimes it gets on my nerves requiring me to leave for my sanity, does that mean they took power over me?
- As I mentioned why I don't ask for advice as much or fish for compliments two posts ago, I fear that people may really not have a reason to reassure or compliment me. I could really be stupid, ugly, and selfish, but no one will tell me this.
- I'm afraid that I have good ideas, but I never complete them. Countless, infinity times has this happened. I'd be a genius if I could.
- I'm too much of a procrastinator. I hate this. I do it, but not enough time to perfect it.
- I cover up insecurity with occasional cockiness. I got called cocky twice in one day. And I'm not. If you call me pretty, I'll say thanks. If you call me outgoing, I'll say "you know it." If you say "The moca frapp is finer then you" I'll get defensive and be like "bitch please". I'm careful of what I'm cocky about. Sadly, its only things that are true.
- I have stretch marks like mothers on my hip bone area. It's disgusting because its dark lines instead of light. I don't know what that means. I'm afraid of bathing suits and bare midriff shirts because of this.
- I'm a good liar. Handy when I lie about my feelings. I don't need to explain to everyone why I'm sad. Or why I am printing pictures of girls with bare limbs. Or why I haven't answered my phone.
- I'm verbally challenged when I'm put on the spot. Especially when it comes to feelings.I can't say how I feel, I can just see it, and feel it.
- I'm always tempted to bite my nails, and eventually I do. Bye, bye long nails.
Tonight is the wedding.
I'm nervous.
My aunt which I hate, she's 32, and by Somali culture, you're usually expected to marry young (Oh, Somali), bought her friend (who was nice) and she basically straightened my hair. I wanted to go get it professionally done, because my hair is damaged. And I could straighten it at home. But thankfully it turned out okay, once I made her fix it because it looked like a boy cut. Now the insides are still not straightened and poofy (because she didn't want to burn my roots) and my aunt was rushing her. Took total of 15 mins.
My dress is ready. I sewed it last night, as well as my sister's and my mom's. Now my mom's friend came by and I did her's as well.
My mom felt sympathic because she promised to take me to the salon to get my hair done and some lady quickly did it, and also my mom's friend was going to pay me to do her dress but since she helped out my mom said she didn't have to, soo in return my mom offered me $40. I wanted to cry.Why do you need to give me money?
I refused it.
She insisted.
I debated.
We compromised.
$20.
She said we can go to the salon another day. School's almost over so there's no point. And I have no need for the $20 so I'm going to save it and give it to her on a rainy day.
The dress I made for my mom, which she decided to wear another I messed up on.
Me :)
First one is the back, second is the front sides of the dress.
